Christian: ‘Why I saved sex until marriage’

A Christian woman has told Guardian readers why she saved sex until marriage, and has remained faithful to her husband ever since.

The article was published as part of the newspaper’s ‘My life in sex’ series, which also includes a man who is fully supportive of his wife’s affair, a man who has sex with heterosexual men, and another who claims his “three short-lived affairs” were “reasonable”.

However, in “I’ve only had sex with my husband”, the woman gives a positive account of Christian sexual morality.

‘God’s love’

The unnamed woman wrote: “I first had sex aged 30, with my husband, on our honeymoon. Twelve years later, I have chosen to express myself sexually only with him.

“I’m a Christian, and I believe that Jesus loves us by giving himself to us unconditionally. By replicating that kind of love in my sex life, I am growing to understand God’s love more.”

The woman explained that while in her 20s, her friends struggled to understand her decision to remain celibate, and tried to convince her she should be having sex, but she says that waiting “never felt like deprivation”.


The fact that she and her husband waited until marriage to consummate their relationship “has created the safety that we experience together”, she said.

“People wonder whether we feel we missed out. Would I have been more “compatible” with someone else? How do I know I couldn’t have had better sex elsewhere, without giving it a go?

“But that’s been the point, really: we’ve been free to love and enjoy each other sexually without fear of any comparisons”.

“It’s only been me. Together we enjoy sex as something amazing – not to be entrusted lightly.”

Also see:

Marriage/wedding rings

‘Respect traditional view of marriage’, Institute urges

CofE: Marriage between a man and a woman is only place for sex

CI Director: ‘Pollsters don’t determine doctrine on marriage’