Baby loss: ‘We never call our miscarriage a foetus, it’s always our baby’

Mothers who have lost their baby due to a miscarriage have called for language to better reflect the loss of life.

Siobhan Gorman in Wales, who was bereaved at 16 weeks, said she prefers the term baby loss to miscarriage because: “I had a baby and my baby died”.

Since Baby Loss Certificates for babies who die before the 24-week abortion limit are available solely in England, the only paperwork Siobhan owns is a cremation certificate.

‘Perfectly formed’

Siobhan reflected: “My baby had 10 tiny fingers and toes and eyes and ears and was perfectly formed but was just tiny, the size of a pear.”

She welcomed plans to expand bereavement leave to parents who lose a baby before 24 weeks, emphasising: “I wasn’t ill, my baby had died”.

Jenni Whitmore, who suffered three miscarriages, said: “When you’re told that your pregnancy can’t progress anymore, you’re not advised ‘I’m really sorry your baby’s died’, you’re just told your pregnancy is not viable, which yes in medical terms is correct but the terminology used needs to be improved”.

“We never refer to our miscarriage as a foetus, it’s always ‘our baby’, ‘my daughter’s sibling’.”

‘Humanising’

Last year, research found that mothers who have suffered a miscarriage would prefer medics to use “humanising” terminology such as “baby”.

‘Acceptability in pregnancy loss language’, by Dr Beth Malory and Dr Louise Nuttall, analysed survey responses from 391 women in the UK who lost a baby over the last three years, in order to inform the best language to use on websites and in policies.

The study found that, at 91 per cent, the “overwhelming majority of respondents considered baby the most acceptable word to use regardless of the gestation at which the loss occurred”.

Overall, the researchers found that terms which “dehumanise what is overwhelmingly considered to be a baby” were rated negatively. Dehumanising terms included “fetus”, which was classed as “unacceptable” by on average 74 per cent whose child died after 14 weeks.