‘Ethical polyamory’: The further denigration of God’s design for human flourishing

In a world that so frequently rejects Christianity, it can seem as though we are constantly surrounded by the enemy’s lies and attacks on God’s good design for men and women.

Just this week, a psychologist in The Guardian noted the “increased awareness of different relationship structures outside of monogamy”, and more disturbingly, listed the benefits of “ethical polyamory”. She argues that while there are occasions where one partner is coerced into agreeing to an ‘open relationship’, so-called ‘ethical polyamory’, an oxymoron if ever there was one, is supposedly a situation in which a couple actively agrees to have multiple sexual partners.

Although the psychologist claimed she would not “advocate for one model over another”, she was quick to defend the “deeply rewarding choice” for some people’s “different way of being in love and connection”. How sad it is that the word ‘different’, which can be used properly to celebrate people’s uniqueness as individuals made in the image of God, is being reappropriated to serve as an excuse to ignore God’s directions for our flourishing.

True marriage is good for everyone

Stories plague the news of those who have taken up the lie that such practices are just as fulfilling as the marriage between one man and one woman. In Germany, a pro-LGBT minister blessed a homosexual relationship between four men with the justification: “What could God have against there now being four instead of two?”

But amid this confusion, the Bible consistently reveals God’s will that the only context for sexual activity is within lifelong monogamous marriage between one man and one woman. This is a truth we should be promoting to all people with boldness — whether they are believers or not — because it fosters happy lives, and the proper and best environment in which children should be raised.

The Institute has long highlighted the unique and lasting benefits of marriage. For example, research shows that children of married parents are less likely to experience poverty, behavioural issues or mental illness, and they tend to have better educational outcomes. Married couples report greater satisfaction in their relationships and contribute more actively to their communities. Overall, the security of marriage leads to reduced pressure on social services and improved economic stability.

Marriages are the union of imperfect people, and as such will inevitably involve difficulties — but this cannot be an excuse for abandoning it altogether. Instead, we should be seeking to understand our spouses better, and to help one another when problems arise. But long before that, we should be seeking to support couples in their daily lives. In a world where people are led into darkness, we have the joy of promoting marriage out of love for God and all.